I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
