yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i barfeds in our rink
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
That reminds me...we need to get swords
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
