Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
