my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Screwed.edu
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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