thus making me awesome and them whores
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
