oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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