I wish you could order shots online.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
