Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
