Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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