I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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