can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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