I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
