uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
