So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
