I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
