I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
