after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just gargled with NyQuil
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
