Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
