escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
