i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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