OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
