Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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