even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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