sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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