she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm sobbing to NWA
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
