remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
