Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What a dumb baby whore.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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