No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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