I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
