His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
