Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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