Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
