Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
