Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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