Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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