I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
