i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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