Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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