We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
