Non-Jews are for practice
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
