dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
