ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
