well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
