is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
