I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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