hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
