Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
