just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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