You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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