You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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