went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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