Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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