what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
