I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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