She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
