im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
